A couple of months ago, Gayathri - my older sister went about her usual saturday activities. She took her trip to the market, the shops and picked up things for home. She had lunch & rested a little, she left home for yoga class & to later meet up with some friends. That plan didnt work very well for her. She felt unwell and left the yoga class in a taxi to come home & sent a text to her friends saying she will see them next time.
It was a lazy saturday morning here in Chapel Hill, i was holding on to my cup of tea, planning for the day when a call from Sampath - my brother sent shivers and froze me. He was on his way to the hospital, Gayathri was in the ICU & i clutched the phone, waiting to hear her condition wondering what had happened? I kept telling myself, all will be well but the next call was contrary - Gayathri had passed away quickly & suddenly. She was young, healthy, no prior health issues but yet her life ended abruptly & it did for us too in many ways
We were similar & yet different in many ways. She was the bright one in academics while i was the flickering one. We loved listening to old hindi music as well as traditional carnatic renditions. We loved watching movies & gossiping. We also have had our share of disagreements & arguements but that's what sisters do. She would keep herself up at night to prepare better for tests & exams & i would be up watching some sport. She loved to dress up & had a nice dress sense, something i didnt inherit despite all her trying. There were things i wouldn't tell her but i knew that she knew and looked out for me quietly.
She started working in a bank when our father passed away suddenly but, she never stopped learning. She was my source of money in my college days when she would give me those few extra ruppees to treat myself to the Gurukripa samosas or the Gandhi Market sandwiches or ticket money for movies. Thanks to her, i had a fun college life. In the meantime Gayathri earned a couple of professional degress along with a few others which mattered & helped her climb her way up the official ladder.
As is life in Mumbai, she had her groups. Among all of us, she was the most God Loving person. She didnt go to temples just to pray but went because she wanted to and she liked and she understood & knew the meanings for a lot of the religious teachings. She was part of the temple group. Thanks to the slow & heavy traffic she was a happy train commuter so she had her 8.01am & 6.16pm train group. Then there were the friends from her work place and friends from her previous workplace & she had her building friends, she school friends & college friends. Her circle was wide & diverse.
A fun loving person, she would play with Achyuta at his level. The two of them would wrestle together or chase each other while playing tag. She would tell him stories & teach him to make rotis & treat him with his favorite spicy snacks. She was his biggest fan & supporter. She would be brimming with pride at his achievements be it a free throw in basketball or solving the rubik's cube.When in Mumbai, Achyuta would happily forget about me his Amma (mother) & stick to his Periamma (older mother). She would have her moments with our mother as well. The mother daughter relation was filled with its share of joy & arguements. They loved to disagree & also loved to agree on a lot of things.
Gayathri had been the quiet strong wall for our family. We relied on her support in small & big ways & enjoyed the comfort of knowing she was there. Two months ago when i landed in Mumbai to see her one last time, a sense of heavy emptiness overcame me. This was the first time she wasnt at the airport to recieve me in all the years i had stayed out of India. It was a sad quiet ride in the car.
She was a picture of content when i saw her before the last rites. Her face clear & calm. For us, there are many unanswered questions & they will remain that way as far as her going away is concerned. Our Mother sees no consolation in any reason for her 1st born's passing away. She wants to believe in miracles like only a mother would and hopes to turn time back & have Gayathri in front of her eyes. And we the siblings talk to each other to figure out the if's & why's but we know we will always be searching for the missing part.
A few years ago during my school years, one of my teacher exasperated with my playfulness & lack of focus had said " Are you Gayathri's sister?? Look at her.." & i had cheekily retorted " I do everyday!" I wish i could do so now....See her everyday!!
It was a lazy saturday morning here in Chapel Hill, i was holding on to my cup of tea, planning for the day when a call from Sampath - my brother sent shivers and froze me. He was on his way to the hospital, Gayathri was in the ICU & i clutched the phone, waiting to hear her condition wondering what had happened? I kept telling myself, all will be well but the next call was contrary - Gayathri had passed away quickly & suddenly. She was young, healthy, no prior health issues but yet her life ended abruptly & it did for us too in many ways
We were similar & yet different in many ways. She was the bright one in academics while i was the flickering one. We loved listening to old hindi music as well as traditional carnatic renditions. We loved watching movies & gossiping. We also have had our share of disagreements & arguements but that's what sisters do. She would keep herself up at night to prepare better for tests & exams & i would be up watching some sport. She loved to dress up & had a nice dress sense, something i didnt inherit despite all her trying. There were things i wouldn't tell her but i knew that she knew and looked out for me quietly.
She started working in a bank when our father passed away suddenly but, she never stopped learning. She was my source of money in my college days when she would give me those few extra ruppees to treat myself to the Gurukripa samosas or the Gandhi Market sandwiches or ticket money for movies. Thanks to her, i had a fun college life. In the meantime Gayathri earned a couple of professional degress along with a few others which mattered & helped her climb her way up the official ladder.
As is life in Mumbai, she had her groups. Among all of us, she was the most God Loving person. She didnt go to temples just to pray but went because she wanted to and she liked and she understood & knew the meanings for a lot of the religious teachings. She was part of the temple group. Thanks to the slow & heavy traffic she was a happy train commuter so she had her 8.01am & 6.16pm train group. Then there were the friends from her work place and friends from her previous workplace & she had her building friends, she school friends & college friends. Her circle was wide & diverse.
A fun loving person, she would play with Achyuta at his level. The two of them would wrestle together or chase each other while playing tag. She would tell him stories & teach him to make rotis & treat him with his favorite spicy snacks. She was his biggest fan & supporter. She would be brimming with pride at his achievements be it a free throw in basketball or solving the rubik's cube.When in Mumbai, Achyuta would happily forget about me his Amma (mother) & stick to his Periamma (older mother). She would have her moments with our mother as well. The mother daughter relation was filled with its share of joy & arguements. They loved to disagree & also loved to agree on a lot of things.
Gayathri had been the quiet strong wall for our family. We relied on her support in small & big ways & enjoyed the comfort of knowing she was there. Two months ago when i landed in Mumbai to see her one last time, a sense of heavy emptiness overcame me. This was the first time she wasnt at the airport to recieve me in all the years i had stayed out of India. It was a sad quiet ride in the car.She was a picture of content when i saw her before the last rites. Her face clear & calm. For us, there are many unanswered questions & they will remain that way as far as her going away is concerned. Our Mother sees no consolation in any reason for her 1st born's passing away. She wants to believe in miracles like only a mother would and hopes to turn time back & have Gayathri in front of her eyes. And we the siblings talk to each other to figure out the if's & why's but we know we will always be searching for the missing part.
A few years ago during my school years, one of my teacher exasperated with my playfulness & lack of focus had said " Are you Gayathri's sister?? Look at her.." & i had cheekily retorted " I do everyday!" I wish i could do so now....See her everyday!!
6 comments:
God! I don't know what to say! We are sorry to hear about this unexplainable loss but, let me tell you one thing! Don't know if you've heard of this but, there's a saying "Once the Karma is done, the body has to leave". Looks like Gayathri's karma is done being in this world as your wonderful sister, playful periyamma, and a wonderful daughter. Don't worry, just as she's always been with you all these years and will be with you forever! Our condolences to you!
Heartfelt condolences, Haripriya. May you and the family have the strength to deal with this loss. Take care.
priya, my heartfelt condolences to you. wish i could just hug you...i do remember you telling me about gayatri, but this is too shocking... god knows what is best... i have prayed for her soul...take care of yourself.
Priya..it all still sounds like a nightmare to be honest. I will be in India for summer n her absence will hit very hard ..we BII gals hardly talk but with my each India visit, we do make it a point to gather..and Gayu always made it. But I guess, like one of the posts here said..She had a very giving role in her life which she did royally and I guess it was time to leave in her royal way. Am sure very few would be able to. The icing was her time with Achyuta about whom she couldn't stop talking or being proud of. will miss her always..n Jan 1st will always be a little sad for me personally..You take care...n thks for the post.
..Mom2Amu is Sunita..just in case you wondered..
Beautifully narrated (as usual) HP. I would miss those once-in-few-years call from Gayathri, saying 'I am in madras for a very short trip and lets see if we could meet'... i wish she was not so busy at least once, to catch up since i left Mumbai. May her soul rest in peace!! Satya
Post a Comment